Ignorance
by Jaina02
Summary: Jaina like you have never seen her before
1. Default Chapter

Title: Ignorance  
Author: Jaina02  
E-mail: Jaina2002@hotmail.com  
Rating: PG-13, it is a little gory and has some stuff that the youngens might get upset by  
Summary: Jaina like you have never seen her before  
Part 1 of 2  
Spoilers: Not much, just the normal YJK lovey stuff  
Disclaimer: Don't belong to me Yoda Yoda Yoda... Not making any money off of them... besides, if you want to sue me, all you'll get is Star Wars and X-Files paraphanalia and every single episode of the X-Files and do you really have any need for all that crap?  
Author's notes: I want to thank my best friend Melissa for all the help that she has been as my fav beta-reader and my favorite online buddy Darky who has been so much fun to talk about people with!  
  
*Dedicated to my Mitchell*   
  
Ignorance  
  
  
I don't get worked up over problems anymore. When things don't go my way, I don't scream or shout or demand a reason for why it happened. I don't slam around my room or curse to the gods. No, I don't do anything like that. That's not me.   
You see, when things don't go my way, I deal.   
This is how I deal.   
This is my story.  
  
I had always been one of those teenagers who's gotten a wrong idea of the world. I was surprised and angered when I heard of the Diversity Alliance. I was ignorant, naive at best and that changed quickly when I was shoved into the real world. My impressions on how things were run around the universe changed and the way I see it now, they changed for the better, not the worst. Now my mother and father and the rest of my family may think otherwise, but I am glad that I know how the world works now. I am very much unsheltered now. It all began one night about four years ago today.  
  
"We are gathered here today to wed Jacen James Solo, Son of Han and Leia Organa Solo, to Tenel Ka Chum D'Jo, Daughter of blah blah blah."  
The wedding ceremony was beautiful. It was the happiest day of their life, and I was miserable. I had been chosen as Tenel Ka's maid of honor and I was pleased, but then they had to make me all up and stick a dress on me. So I was completely miserable, I was uncomfortable and I had been crying all day long. Yes, Jaina Solo had been crying, ALL DAY. Why? Well it seems that my own fiancé, Raynar Thul, had decided to get back with his old flame Lusa. I walked into the apartment that he was sharing with Lowie the night before my brother's wedding to surprise my bridegroom with a gift I had picked up, and what was he doing? Well let's just say he wasn't playing on the holonet. I was furious. Actually that's an understatement, I was ready to chop him into little pieces, but being a Jedi, I cooled off and ran out of the room crying, all the way to the apartment that Tenel Ka and I were sharing at the time. She was very helpful. We talked and cried and then we talked about her and Jacen's wedding and cried. Let's just say we were both very emotional.  
That morning, after all that talking and crying, my mother called on the holovid and asked why Raynar's and my wedding was called off, I smiled coolly and told her what had happened, not forgetting to mention that he was a slug and sith and everything else that I could think of at the time. My mother nodded, as if she had known all along. She then came over and brought Tenel Ka and I breakfast and tea. We cried with her as well.   
The thing that annoyed me the most was that they hadn't been together in years, and they were sleeping together. I had been with Raynar for close to 2 years at that time, and I wouldn't even let him touch me the wrong way. It was ,and still is, against my morals. I want the first time to be when I am wed to that person, not a quick little fling. I would regret it for the rest of my life. He thought I was nuts, but I figured since he finally obliged and accepted to my wish that he had seen what I had been seeing. Well he found another way to get it apparently. He really isn't a dirty guy and neither is Lusa, he's male and she really does love him.   
That's another thing, I thought I loved him too. But I didn't. I mean I love him in the way that he's one of the best friends ever, but I now realize that love is what I had before Raynar, with someone who had left me and whom I didn't think I would ever see again.  
Well any ways... so there I was, watching my brother marry the woman his life revolves around. It was a lovely sight. I was truly happy for both of them, I was just in a state of self mutilation and pity. When they exchange vows and kiss and run down the aisle grinning like two mad hyenas, I wanted to die. I was not in the mood to watch what I viewed as pathetic and childish right now. The Raynar thing was the first awakening I had.  
Later that night, I watched Tenel Ka and my brother dance the night away. The way they looked at each other told me that they were truly in love. It sickened me though. I wanted them to know the heartache and sorrow that I had felt. I looked over to my Uncle Luke and he silently asked me to go with him.  
We walked into another room and I began to cry. He just held me. I understood, that he understood and that he had been through this as well. He looked at me and smiled, "You realize that Raynar was not the right path don't you."  
"I know that now Uncle Luke, it took me a while, but I know now. Raynar and Lusa belong together, Raynar and I don't."  
"Do you know what must happen now?" He questioned me with his piercing blue eyes and gave me a look I swear he taught Anakin.  
"Yes."  
"Then go make it happen," he told me.  
I nodded, understanding what he meant and gave him a quick hug good bye, "Yes sir."  
Just as I was about to leave the room, he called out to me, "Jaina, don't let anyone stand in the way of your love."  
I nodded and left the room.  
I was back in the party room. People were still dancing and Jacen approached me, "Hey Jaina, are you going to be all right?"  
I nodded mutely and headed for the small bar. Jacen walked beside me and tugged the sleeve of my dress, "hey, you wanna dance with your little brother?"  
I smiled for the first time that day and nodded brightly, "yes Jacen, I would love too."  
We danced to a song from our childhood, mimicking the moves of our past. The dance was more of a little jig than anything. We laughed and Tenel Ka and Anakin and Tahiri joined us. We were all laughing and dancing when a big mass of fur picked us up and hugged us, all of us. When Lowie finally put us down, it was time for the toasts and then the ending ceremony. After that, Tenel Ka and my brother would leave and I would be the only Solo not married, or getting married. I felt a pang of sadness and when I looked up from the floor I had been staring at, Uncle Luke gave me a look and Aunt Mara came over to hug me. I understood, I needed to cheer up, After the party, I was leaving, to find my love.  
The toasts were heartbreaking. My father gave one and wished the newlyweds good luck and toasted to those who were no longer here. My heart began to die as I watched my father struggle for words about how our Chewie would have been so proud of my brother. I spoke next.  
I struggled out of my seat and up to the front of the room. I walked up the platform and started to speak, "Tenel Ka, you are the most loving and spirited woman and I am glad for you to finally be a part of this family, you have made my brother incredibly happy and every time I see you and him together, I hope that I will find that kind of love." I began to cry and smile, "Then there's you little bro., I love to tease you about that you know, even though we were only fifteen minutes apart! I wanted to say that you are the most incredible man. You are funny, sometimes, and you have a sense about you that always makes me want to laugh. I hope you and Tenel Ka are incredibly happy for the rest of your lives and I wish you good will. I love you both so much, be happy." I stopped a moment and then saw this as my chance, " I would like to make an announcement as well, as you know, I am not marrying Raynar Thul, but I have decided to leave my position in Rouge Squadron and I am going to travel a while, I am leaving tonight and I won't know when I will be home." I stepped down and quickly sat back down next to my parents, my mom gave me a hug and smiled at me.  
"You are making the right choice," she told me, "always remember that your father and I are behind you the entire way."  
I could feel the pain that my mother was experiencing, but I also felt the sense of peace that was within her. She was glad that I was trying to help myself. I had been so unhappy for such a long time. I hadn't been able to tell, but again (as with my love for Raynar) I could tell now.  
After the two lovebirds left, I went to my room and began to pack. Slowly I placed in things that I would need for my journey. I wasn't sure how long I would be so I put all of the clothes that I owned into a large storage bin. On top of the clothes I put my boots and sandals and the dress shoes that I owned and used on rare occasions. I placed my holobooks on them and then gathered up the few projects that were left undone and unceremoniously dumped them in the bin as well. I looked back at my bed. My pillow and small nerf doll Scoundrel went in and the bin was full. I looked back on my room and saw my diary and the picture of him. Grabbing that, I put it into the knapsack I had grabbed.  
I went into the kitchen where my mother was waiting. She smiled through the tears that she was shedding and gave me a hot meal in a lunch pail. I told her that the "Jedi Awakening" had a perfectly fine galley, but she instead stopped my comments and said that no one could push a food processor like Mom. We both laughed quietly and Dad came in. He got all upset and gave us both big hugs. He told me that he would miss me and that I should contact them often. I nodded and then my brother was there and he cried and kissed my cheek and said good bye as well. Tahiri did the same and then my mom suggested that I go tell Luke and Mara. I went to their apartment and I got more hugs and kisses and tears. I was the only one not crying through all of this. I was in to much of a mind set. I bid my farewells and wished Mara luck with her pregnancy, telling her that I hoped that Luka Myra would be happy and healthy. Mara started to cry and so did Uncle Luke. I gave two more hugs and then was off to my destination. Wherever that was to be.   
I boarded my little Jedi Awakening and set my navi computer off. I would be flying manual, relying only on my navi to make sure that I didn't run into a planet or a black hole. I calmed my senses and reached out with the force. I let in flow through me and around me until all I could feel was where my heart was telling me to go. I then put my little ship on autopilot and sighed, I didn't feel well at all physically. I ached and my eyes hurt. I realized that I ought to go into my cabin and take a long, refreshing nap. I walked wearily into my cabin and changed into more comfortable nightclothes. I then lay down and as soon as my head hit the pillow, I was in a deep, jedi healing trance.  
I finally awoke and realized that I had reached my destination. I had slept and healed for several days. I felt an incredible peace and calmness over me now. I almost felt as I had several years ago, before he left. I didn't think that I would ever feel this way again. I got up from the bad and walked into the cockpit with a little skip in my step.   
As I reached the console of the cockpit, I realized that I had no idea where I was. I looked at my navi computer and it told me the name of the planet: Tripens. I had never heard of it so I sent a com message to the planet.  
"Umm, yes, Jedi Awakeneing, what are your reasons for being on Tripens?"  
I nodded and thought, "I am here on a mission, the Chief of State Leia Organa Solo sent me here to find a missing person for her daughter." I smiled, he would never know the truth.  
"Well welcome!" the young agent cried, a sudden change of his voice, "What would the Chief of State like for me to do?"  
"Nothing, just allow me to land. This is a private mission and you need not interfere. I only request a landing pad and peace. No need to tell anyone about this."  
I listened for the response, "Yes, of course! I wouldn't want to interfere! But are you sure that you don't want accommodations or..."  
I stopped him short, "No, thank you for your kindness, but I just want to be left be for a while.  
"As you wish, docking bay 720," he said curtly.  
I landed the ship and walked into the petite docking bay. Working men, dirty men, all around me sneered and spit and leered at me. I walked confidently out into the street and reshifted my knnapsack. This would be dificult finding him. I walked into the nearest bar and sat down near a Bith with a bad attitude. She was the only woman there and I felt more safe near her than with a bunch of men. I motioned to the bartender.  
"Turbine, please."   
He looked at me curiously, "that's a pretty strong drink, are you sure thats what you want?"  
I nodded and then motioned for him to come closer, "Where can I obtain information?"  
"About what?"  
"I'm searching for someone, this is very important to me,"  
"Well, show me who you're looking for and maybe I'll tell you."  
I grabbed my knapsack and showed him the picture of the two of us. He nodded and told me that I could obtain more information at Dwellers, another bar in the region. I nodded and left.  
  
************************  
Zekk watched as Jaina walked away. He had forgotten how much he loved her. The sway of her hair and the way she walked: proud and tall almost sent him over the edge. He looked back at his regular customer, the female Bith, Rinaataa.  
  
"That was you in that picture, a long time ago when you had short hair and no beard, wasn't that?"  
  
Zekk nodded, "She knew it was me."  
  
"Go to her."  
  
"I will."  
  
"Does she know that?"  
  
"She will now."  
Zekk cloesd his eyes and rubbed his temples. She knew, she would never be able to buy his disguise. She was connected. He was connected. Always.  
**************************  
I walked away and felt him. Like when I had felt him the first time when I asked for a drink, trying to hide the fact that I knew it was him. I would always know. I could never hide the feelings I felt for him. He looked rediculous in his long hair and beard. I knew that I would meet up him. Neither of us knew where, but we knew that we would find each other.  
I found a nice cheap hotel to stay in. I had plenty of credits to get a nicer place (my parents had placed a lot in my acount after I had left) but I needed to keep a somewhat low profile. I was surprised to know that I had not been noticed yet. I put my knnapsack on my bed and used the refresher. I came out and decided to wander around. I went out on to the street again and I wandered the impecably clean streets for awhile. I walked down a dark alleyway and found myself in a poverty stricken area of the town that I was in. Prostitutes wandered the street and beggars stood at every crossway and every corner. I was aghast at this. I had never seen anything like this before. People were pawing my jumpsuit and pleading for money. I knew not to give them money, but I felt like I should do something. I looked around in agony and spotted a small rundown cafe. I ran inside. An old harried looking woman looked up and watched as I led all the hungry and begging people in. I sat all of them down. I told the old woman to fix them whatever they wanted and I told her it was on me. She nodded. I asked if I could help her in the kitchen and she nodded, surprised at what I was doing.  
In the kitchen, we fixed dozens of meals. I helped her serve them and more and more showed up. I felt so relieved to do this. I had to help them. I had only felt that much pain through the force once before: the attack of the Shadow Academy. I watched as I set a plate in front of an young woman. She was weak looking and wore the clothes of a prostitute. I knew what she was and I knew she knew that I knew. We looked at each other and I realized, again, that I had been sheltered.  
The old woman at the cafe thanked me and told me she would take no money. I gave her some and she pushed it back. I tried again, but she wouldn't accept it. She told me that she was greatful instead. I asked if there was anything I could do and she nodded.  
"Go to him."  
"Excuse me?" I asked.  
"Just go,"  
"Are you a Jedi?" I questioned.  
She nodded and then walked away, back into her kitchen.  
I stood there for a minute and then walked out. I walked back into the filth ridden streets and away. I crossed a street and into the different part of town that I had been in before. Getting closer to where I had come from, I went up to a young girl on the street. She was only about 7 and she had the prettiest blond hair that I had ever seen.   
"Excuse me, do you know if there is a place that I can swim in?"  
The young girl laughed, "Sure, it isn't a real nice, but there is a river shape pool over across that street and to your left. It is kinda old though. No one goes there anymore. It's called the River Bank. Big ole' sign, you won' t miss it."  
I nodded and thanked her and walked away. I crossed the street and turned to my left. There was a building that looked a bit rundown and shabby. I walked into it and I was greeted by a young man with red hair and freckles.  
"Well hello beautiful!" he said with a goofy smile stretched across his face.  
I rolled my eyes at the flirty young man and smiled, "Can I swim here?" I asked politely.   
"Well that's what this place is here for! Although business is seeming to lack lately."  
I nodded and gave him the right amount of credits and he showed me where I could change if I needed to. I walked into a small but sanitary locker room. Three girls were in there and they giggled loudly.  
"Oh, he was so sexy!"  
"I know, he just was asking me to rub up and down that chest of his!"  
"He is such a hottie!"  
"You know, he was kinda quiet though, I wonder what he was thinking about?"  
The girls chatted loudly and I knew who they were talking about. I quietly changed into a bathing suit and exited to the girls still snickering about the "hot, dark haired man."  
I walked into the start of the pool. The girl on the street was right, it was a big pool in the shape of a river. There were even little currents in it. I walked in and let the currents carry me away. I laid on my back, just relaxing and then I turned and started swimming against the stream. The workout let me focus on the things at hand and I was buried in my thoughts. I looked up and I saw him.  
  
************************  
I looked up and I saw her. She was looking at me too. We didn't say anything, we just watched. I had shaved my beard off right after work and cut my hair. We stood there for several moments just staring and finally she approached me, just as I aproached her. We stood a foot apart from each other and she started to cry.  
************************  
We both approached each other and stood there, staring in awe of each other. I started to cry and he reached out to me. I fell into his arms and sobbed for a long time. He just stood there holding me and stroking my hair. When I finally calmed down, I smiled. A true genuine smile! He laughed and raced ahead of me. I got the hint and started to chase him through the water.  
We laughed and splashed, but then we knew we would have to talk so we left and got dressed in the locker rooms. We met on the street and walked back to my apartment.  
I ordered us some sort of takeout and we sat on the bed.  
"I missed you so much, why did you leave?"  
He sighed and looked at his hands.  
"Jaina, I am so disappointed in myself. I just didn't feel like you loved me. I wasn't good enough for you. I even met with Anja once when we were together. After that, I felt like scum. How could I marry you if I was going to run around your back?"  
I sighed, "Did you sleep with her?"  
Zekk looked down at his hands, "No, but she wanted me to, I had to use all my power to resist her."  
I asked the next question with little fear, "Did you want to." it was more of a statement than a quesion.  
"No," he said firmly, "But my hormones were very close from taking over."  
I leaned forward to meet his gaze and looked into his eyes, "Zekk, I would never think I was to good for you." I looked at my hands, "I have missed you so much, I got involved with someone who I almost married..."  
Zekk looked at me then, "Who?"  
"You wouldn't believe it if I told you"  
He softly took my face, "Jaina, who?"  
I chuckled softly, "Raynar."  
He laughed at me! He looked at me to make sure I was serious and then he laughed at me! The sound surprised me so much I jumped. I was so shocked. He softened his facial features and smiled at me, "What happened?"  
I sighed, "I had told him a long time ago that I wouldn't sleep with him until we were married and he umm... found a way around it."  
Zekk's eyes danced with mirth, but the rest of his face softened, "Let me guess, Lusa?"  
I nodded, "I walked in on them."  
Zekk nodded as well, "Oh Jaina..." he pulled me into a hug and my heart lept in my chest.  
"I wasn't in love with him, I thought I was but I wasn't. I was living a lie, and I am truely happy for them now."  
I could feel Zekk nod and his soft brush of lips against my hair and I realized then what REAL love was. I smiled and then heard a knock on the door. I got up and took the takeout Corellian food from the Ithorian at the door. I thanked him and handed him his money and a tip. Zekk cleared off the small table and made room for us to eat. I sat down and enjoyed the spicy Correlian food. I loved it. Zekk and I caught up on things, it was nice.  
  
************************  
It was nice. Real nice. I was very comfortable telling her about my experiences in Tripens and all the other places I had been. I told her about Anja and her seductive ways that she used to try and get me. I told her the reasons I left and that I had never meant to hurt her. I really hadn't, I knew she would be upset, but I didn't think that she would be as depressed as she told me she was. I told her of all the different encounters I had had, and my job as a bartender. She listened and nodded. I finally looked into her eyes...  
  
************************  
He looked into my eyes and I knew what he was going to say.  
"Jaina, I love you. I have been living in agony for four years waiting for this day. I want to return to you. I want to spend time with you to make up for all the years I've missed."  
I had started crying at the I love you part and by the time he finished, my body was shaking hard with tears. I had missed this so much, I had missed this raw emotional longing for a man to tell you how much he needs you. How much he loves you. He held me and I cried. I loved this man.  
Eventually I stopped and he pulled me back to examine my face. I smiled and he did as well. I knew he would kiss me. He leaned in and kissed my forehead and then moved to my nose and when his mouth closed on mine, I took a sharp intake of air. Raynar's kisses never felt like this. Zekk's always had. The kiss turned into a dire need, a passionate wanting. I began to cry again. We just sat there devouring each others mouths for several minutes, both reveling in the fact that this was real; this wasn't a dream I was having and this wasn't something that would go away. I finally pushed him away slightly and he looked up at me, and that's when I realized that he was crying as well.  
"Jaina, tell me your not a dream, please, tell me you're real. I don't want to wake up again. I love you."  
The utterences of these words and others were pressed against my ear and we both wept. I held him for moments that seemed like seconds and he gently rocked us both. I took his face in my hands and stroked his cheeks and kissed away his tears. He looked at me with such passion that I had to smile.  
"Zekk, I love you so much. I promise you, I am as real as anything. Can't you tell?"  
He closed his eyes for a moment and smiled, "Your connection with me is stronger than ever."  
We both smiled and then I thought about the place I had been to in the alley. My heart went out to all of the children and the one's who were not as fortunate as I was. I sighed and Zekk looked at me.  
"Take me there," he said simply.  
  
When I began walking down the street, I knew where I was going. I didn't start to get dissoriented until I realized that I could not find the alley I was searching for. I went to an old man on the street and asked him where to go, but he told me that there was no place like it and that the city we were in was the richest city on the planet and had no homeless living there. I looked at him in awe and Zekk stared at me blankly. There was no alley, there were no homeless people, there was no strange woman telling me to go to Zekk. As I was trying to figure this out, Zekk led me to his work to ask his boss about the place I was talking about.  
We walked a couple of blocks and then stopped suddenly. Zekk gave the same blank face as I had. He looked around and then dragged me along behind him. He glanced all around him and then I heard a slightly audible, "Damn, " come from him.  
"What the Hell is going on, " he asked me.  
I looked at him blankly, "What do you mean?"  
"My bar, where is it?" I looked around as well, the little bar that I had been to earlier that day wasn't there anymore. I walked down the street, there was no road that led to my hotel room. We began to trace our steps back and found dead ends. We were finally in a little circle, staring at dead ends all around us. There was no longer any town. We were both very confused. I was about to ask another question when Zekk grabbed my hand. He felt it the moment I did. We were both in grave danger  
  
************************  
We were both in grave danger. I sensed it immediatly and grabbed Jaina's hand. She felt it the moment I did and tightened her fingers around mine. I pulled her to me and the city diasappeared.  
  
************************  
  
The city was no longer in front of us. Instead, a large warehouse type building was before us, and we were both in funny looking suits. I pulled the goggels that I was wearing off and so did Zekk. But he was not standing in front of me as I left him but was instead across the room. He looked at me and ran to me. I did the same. Then he was on the floor in pain. I realized that there must be some sort of energy shield keeping us apart. The whole city had been simulated, my landing on the planet and the planet itself as well. I felt the dread come back and Zekk put his hands up to the shield. It was then that I realized that it wasn't a shield, but a simple glass wall. He put his hand up and so did I. A man entered the room.  
"Well, Mistress Jaina and Zekk, what a pleasure to see you here." I looked at the man in front of me. He was tall and ugly. He had heavy set features and his balding gray-brown hair was dirty and greasy. I was surprised. Most of the people I have been kidnapped by have been beautiful, but evil. I searched his feeling and found that he had no force powers at all. I was also surprised by that. He was not here to put our powers to evil use. No, he was here to just kidnap us, for ransom.  
"You know, I was thinking about it and I realized that you are probably one of the richest teenager in the world, your parents, hell, your whole family has power, why not lead you to me by using a street rat?" the man was talking again. "Your parents will pay millions of credits if they see you being tortured! Millions! I'm not real bright, so it took me a while to think up something really horrible for me to torture you with and then it came to me..."  
Zekk screamed something I couldn't hear and the man whistled, "Hey, guys, take him away."  
I watched as three burly men came in... armed with ysalamiri. They picked Zekk up and carried him away. Zekk screamed and yelled, I heard one thing, "I love you Jaina, don't ever forget that I love you!"  
I had tears in my eyes as I watched them take him away. The ugly man dragged me up off of my knees and shook me, "You're mine now, you hear me, not that piece of trash's, not your parents, not your dear Uncle Luke, you're mine!" he spit on me and I tried to get away, but he injected something into my side and I don't remember anything after that.  
I awoke to a dark, damp room. I saw a womp-rat scurry across the floor and I shivered uncontrolably. I looked across the room and saw Zekk laying unconscious. I ran to him. He was out like a light and was sweating bullets. I felt his head and he nuzzeled against my touch. He was hotter than I thought. A defintite fever. I kissed his forehead and he woke up.   
"Jaina, I feel horrible. What happened?"  
I shook my head, I wasn't sure what had happened, "I think that the entire planet was a simulation and everything that you have experienced the last month and a half of being on Tripens was all simulated. I think that they somehow lured me to you. Did you ever use the force to try and contact me?"  
He nodded and then got a panicked look on his face. He grabbed a trashcan beside me and retched into it. This was serious. He laid back down and I stroked his face. "Feel better?"  
He shook his head, "No."  
I sighed, "So why did they put us in the same cell?"  
He closed his eyes, "To make you suffer through this as well, they told me that the sight of me was going to becom unbearable and they wanted you to watch it."  
I sighed and watched as he grabbed the trash can again. I watched as he heaved into the trashcan, and watched as the color began to turn a horrible, sickening black. As I watched, I began to feel sick myself, but instead swallowed the naseau and concentrated on holding Zekk up as he got sick over and over again. Eventually, he stopped and I watched as he fainted. I gave a cry and hurriedly picked him up and set him on the small bunk that we were ment to share. He came too when I pulled him onto the bunk and started to wheeze. He could barely catch his breath. He wheezed and when that eventaully stopped, he cried. He shed tears, crying out in pain and shouting at dilerious delusions. I held him as he weeped and cried as well. I held him to my breast and wished that there were some way that I could stop his pain. I tried to touch the force, but again found a void caused by the ysalamiri.  
I realized then that there was a comlink next to the bed. I picked it up and called into it in hysterics, "Why are you doing this? Do you get some sick joy out of watching innocent people suffer? Are you that crazed for money, or are you just sick?"  
I was out of breath and collapsed exhausted next to Zekk on the small bunk. I cried myself to sleep. When I awoke, Zekk was up and was being sick again. He looked at me when he was finished and I told him to lay down, but as I sat up, I felt a horrible pain in my head and then it spread to my entire body. Zekk rushed to me and felt my head. He shook his head and I knew. I had caught whatever he had. Zekk carried the trashcan to me and I got sick. I threw up for hours and when I finally passed out, the last thing I saw was Zekk, and the black blisters forming on his face...  
I had horrible delirious dreams that night. I dreamt about Zekk and his dark time. I dreamt about the horrible time with Hethrir and of a time I barely remember when Jacen and I were young and lost. I knew I cried out and lashed all night because when I awoke, I did not feel rested. Zekk stared at me when I awoke, and I saw the black blisters all over his body. He had scratched at one and now the black puss that was in them had irritated and stripped the flesh that it had touched. I looked at my own hands that were beginning to become like his body. Zekk looked awful. Black rings were under his eyes and his eyes were draining black liquid. He looked like death. He came over to me and kissed my forehead.  
"They are taking us somewhere today," he told me solomnly.  
I looked at him quizically, "Where," I rasped out, my throat was filled with a thick liquid that didn't want to go down or up, and if it were to go up, I figured that it would be black.  
"I don't know," He looked at me, "You are so beautiful."  
I laughed a little, hoarsly, "Like this? I am so sure."  
He smiled, "You are beautiful no matter what they do to you. And no one can change the amount that I love you."   
I smiled faintly and fell into his embrace. They may take our health, our talents, Hell, even our lives, but they can't take our love. We fell asleep like this.  
We awakened to see a guard banging on the door, "Wake up you sleepy heads, time to greet a wonderful day, we got a little surprise for you this morning." He grabbed us and took us into a large and very posh living room. The dirty man that had taken us for ransom was in the room and he smiled when he saw us.  
"Well you little rich garbage, you are in for a surprise. I am going to fill you in on the past few days. The past week, we have argued with the senate, and your mother I might add, over how to solve the little problem we are having--you two love birds! Well, a couple of your friends decided that they were going to try and help you, well they failed! Gentlemen, bring in our prisoners."  
I looked and saw Raynar and Lusa standing in front of me, they were both crying and I had to look away. They had come to save us, and now they would be put through the same miserarble torture. They were holding tightly to one another and they looked very nervous. Jaina looked up at the ugly man. He was saying something.  
"You will be put to death, immediatly."  
  
There's the first one kiddies! I will try and finish it up soon! I will give you an estimate that it will be finished around... probably the beginning of June! Feedback is welcome, and my room gets cold, so flames are used to keep my room warm!  
  



	2. Ignorace Left

Title: Ignorance Left  
  
Author: Jaina02  
  
Rating: PG-13  
  
Summary: Jaina like you have never seen her before  
  
Author's Notes: You need to read Ignorance before you read this one. PLEASE send me feed back! I want to know what you think! Flames are more than welcome! WRITE ME!   
I would like to thank all of the friends that have gotten me through the worst of times and that feel that they can come to me for help: Deanna, Ashley, Jessica, Jessica, Mandy, and Melissa- you guys are the greatest! I love you all! I hope that we keep in touch throughout the years as we go to college *sob* and continue our varying futures. I would also like to thank Mitchell and  
Eddie for keeping me and my best friend's lives in a constant LOVE HIGH! Without you guys (whether you know it or not) we would never have the INTERESTING (but hilarious) conversations that we have late into the night on weekends and Wednesday nights! Also, I want to thank all of the youth interns and Eddie for an AWESOME Work Camp experience! Thanks for teaching us how to play presidents and being cool! Jennifer and Debbie- you kept me laughing all week with your imitations on "Church Lady" and "don't slam the doors, period paragraph!" Josh- thanks for calling me a hoss even though I refused to go up those stupid high ladders! Thank you to all of the people who put their efforts into making the Sawdust Crew an awesome youth group! Summer was great! I can't wait for the next one! Thank you to Bobby and Jennifer for putting so much hard work into our Youth Group. We love you soo much and we are so glad that you love us so much.  
  
Ok, well that was LONG! I have one more thing to write though. This is a hilarious song that I learned at the camp that was mentioned above- Work Camp (for more info about this camp, go to www.sawdustcrew.com) It is a Church of Christ affiliated camp, so we are Christians despite the violent nature of this song:  
  
Way up in the sky, where the little birdies fly  
Way down in the nest, where the little birdies rest  
With a wing on the left, and a wing on the right, God helps little birdies sleep all through the night...  
Shhh, they're sleeping!  
WAKE UP!  
The big sun comes up  
The dew falls away  
"Good morning, good morning," the little birdies say  
The farmer comes out, with shotgun in hand...  
Boom boom, boom boom, no birds on my land!  
There's one birdie left, with one broken wing...  
Chop chop, chop chop, now no birdies sing!  
  
Ok, I know that is violent, but if you heard it every morning at 7:30 for four days straight, it begins to put a smile, though an evil one, on your face!, NOW... on with the fic...  
  
dedicated to my mitchell*  
  
***a quick recall***  
"Well you little rich garbage, you are in for a surprise. I am going to fill you in on the past few days. The past week, we have argued with the senate, and your mother I might add, over how to solve the little problem we are having, you two love birds! Well, a couple of your friends decided that they were going to try and help you, well they failed! Gentlemen, bring in our prisoners."  
I looked and saw Raynar and Lusa standing in front of me, they were both crying and I had to look away. They had come to save us, and now they would be put through the same miserable torture. They were holding tightly to one another and they looked very nervous. Jaina looked up at the ugly man. He was saying something.  
"You will be put to death, immediately."  
******************  
I looked at the man trying to figure out who he was talking to, but my powers were no use in the presence of the ysalamiris. I looked up at the man in fear and he spat at me. He motioned to the guards and they took Raynar and Lusa over to the other side of the room. I watched as the men aimed their blasters...  
I closed my eyes and plugged my ears, but it was no use. The scent of charred flesh is to unique and the moment that I looked up, I saw both Raynar and Lusa in a heap on the ground. I remember crying out, but then there was nothing but darkness.   
Raynar and Lusa were dead.  
  
******************  
  
As soon as I looked at Jaina, we both felt it. It was bad. She knew it and I knew it. As I saw their bodies crumple to the floor, I knew that they were both dead, and I have never felt so much hurt in my life. Jaina ran to me, but two large men grabbed her. She was taken from me and put into a separate room. That's when it started. That's when all Hell broke loose.  
  
******************  
  
I remember running at Zekk, and then there was black darkness. The darkness was good though. In the darkness there was a relief from the pain.   
I awoke to a new room and no Zekk. The pain that I felt from my head was so immense that it blurred my vision. I lay in the cot for a while and I felt towards Zekk. The shock and panic all came together as I realized that he was not there. Not only not in the room, but no where close enough where I could feel him. I watched a window in the door in panic as a guard got up and fetched another ysalamiri and again smothered my precious talents. I was alone. For the first time in my life I felt abandoned. No one would be able to find me and Zekk. I began to repress memories of my first kidnapping. Hethrir. I kept thinking of how I had escaped that and I was only five at the time, but I had the strength of Jacen and Anakin. Now, though, I am alone and afraid. I was afraid like I never knew. It scared me to death. I had never felt like this. I had always had comforts, now there was only bitterness.  
  
******************  
  
The first thing that I realized when I woke up was the pain shooting from my head to my legs. I then realized that I was able to feel the force, but I couldn't feel Jaina. I responded violently by jumping out of my bed to the small door by the cot that I was laying on. I reached with all of my might to find her, and when I was about to lose hope, I felt it. A glimmer of her spirit. I began to feel hope, but as soon as I began to feel hope, her sense withered into a pool of pain.   
I fell to the floor, the pain from her and the nauseous feeling of standing up to fast is all too much for me. I lowered my head and got sick all over myself. As I looked at the wretched food that I had eaten for the past few days, I realized that I was no longer sick with whatever they had given to Jaina and me. As I began to feel a millimeter better, a new wave of pain was hurled at me from Jaina. I tried to reach her, but she was washed away.  
I crumpled to the floor.  
The next thing I knew, I was being hoisted from the floor and taken into a room where I saw Jaina, lying unconscious from the pain, on the floor. I tried to run to her, but the guards grabbed me before I was able to reach the stairway.  
I was forced to watch.  
I was forced to watch Jaina go through horrible pains. They tortured her.  
Chains, electrocution devices, whips... the list went on. I was being held by a chair that not only strapped me down, but a guard went as far as to hold my eyes open. They all laughed and sneered at my obvious pain in the situation.  
Eventually, they stopped. My head hurt and my eyes were bloodshot and dry from the guards forcing them open. They stopped because they realized that if they did one more thing to her, she would die. I could feel it. She passed out from the immense pain, but she held out for a very long time. She had been tortured for several hours now, and it pained me to see her in this state. I began to cry, and my tears burned my eyes because my eyes were dry. I cried while they took me to my room.  
Then they brought her to me. She was bruised and bleeding and unconscious. They practically threw her in the room. I ran to her immediately touching her wounds as if my own hands could heal them. I cradled her like a baby and gently laid her small body on the bed. I began to feel the effects of the illness again and turned to get sick in the trash can beside me. The headache returned and I wondered briefly if they had given me any kind of medicine to give me more strength to watch the tortures. Just then, the door to our cell opened and a guard came in carrying a plate. He laid it down and ordered me to eat. Even though I had just thrown up, I obeyed, not wanting to make any more people mad at me.   
I ate a few bites and realized that there was a note under the cold rice. I picked it up and read it. I began to become excited! The guard was Jacen! It said that he didn't have much time, but that he was going to get us out of there. It also said that there was medicine in the food for me to eat. I began to devour the food. I looked at Jaina and began to feel the light side of the force run through me  
Looking over at Jaina, I saw that she had woken up. Her eyes looked haunted and tired. I gave her a bite of food and she accepted it. We both ate, neither of us talking. Finally we finished eating and she looked up at me, horror written on her face.  
"They raped me."  
I felt a lurch in my stomach. Her eyes filled with tears and so did mine. She sobbed and I pulled her towards me and wished that I could give her my strength. She cried for a long time. We eventually fell asleep together.  
The next thing that I heard was loud blaster bolts. A large man came running into our cell and pulled us to our feet. Jaina pulled away from his grasp.  
"Don't you touch me!" she yelled.  
He was momentarily distracted from this and I pulled back my fist and knocked him straight in the jaw. Jaina clawed for my hand and I grabbed it and pulled her towards me and gave her a quick kiss, "If we don't make it, I will always love you."  
She was startled by my quick movement, but she nodded and a touch of the Solo grin I was used to entered her mouth, "what are we waiting for?"  
I nodded and we ran.   
  
******************  
  
"Do you Zekk, take Jaina Solo as your wife?"  
"I do."  
"Do you Jaina, take Zekk as your husband?"  
"Of course I do!"  
Luke Skywalker smiled, "Then you are officially man and wife!"  
Zekk and Jaina kissed lightly and turned to the audience. A great cheer ran throughout the Grand Audience chamber. A wolf whistle was heard from Jacen and Anakin.  
As Jaina and Zekk walked down the aisle, and kissed lightly.  
That night at the reception, toasts were made by close family and friends. Jacen got up and smiled at the audience he had.  
"Well, you all know that I am Jaina's brother. I just wanted to tell her how happy I am for her. She really deserves this happiness," he cleared his throat and looked down at his plate, "About a year ago, I found out that my sister had been abducted by an evil person. She was beaten, given a deathly disease, and raped." Jacen brushed away a tear and pressed on, "One thing remained the same, Zekk was always there. He was her constant, her touchstone, and she was his. I talked to Zekk a few nights ago and I asked him if he was sure that Jaina was the one. He told me that he was quite sure. I asked him when he knew, and he told me that he had always known. He told me that he would willingly go through all the physical and mental tortures that he had undergone during their abduction to just spend a few seconds with her. I can relate because I have a beautiful wife and brand new daughter that I know I would give up anything for. Jaya, I love you and I am glad that you have finally found the peace and happiness that you deserve."  
By the end of the speech, there were a good many teary eyes. Jaina ran up to her brother and gave him a huge hug. The audience clapped and Jaina walked over to Zekk who put his arm around Jaina's waist and kissed the top of her head. The audience rose to their feet and clapped. Jaina and Zekk started into a slow dance and the clapping melted away to the soft notes of a song.   
Everyone watched as Jaina and Zekk shared their first dance as a married couple.  
Jaina looked into Zekk's eyes and gave a lopsided grin, "Well, what are we waiting for?"  
Zekk looked at her and kissed the grin on her face long and hard.  
  
*******************  
  
Epilogue:  
Well, I won't say my life is perfect because it isn't.  
My life with Zekk has been wonderful, but we have definitely been through some trying points.  
But because of what happened, I am able to enjoy life more, I am stronger because of my ordeal.  
And I don't want my unborn child to be raised in shelter, like I was.  
And she won't be.   
  
the end  
  
*******************  
  
Author's notes continued:  
I love feedback! Flames are kept to keep my room warm.  
The song at the end, as I imagined it is "When You Say Nothing At All" (Ronan Keating version) on the Notting Hill Soundtrack.  
There is also a quote from my other obsession- if you know what it is (the quote and what it is from), go ahead and tell me! I won't put you in my next fanfiction, but I will give you a cyber "pat on the back!"  



End file.
